“It’s your kind of suffering”

“It’s your kind of suffering”

Since I moved with my new roommates, Luca and Devan, I have had more discussions about love and soul than usual, we are all single, but with an open heart for a relationship… “that relationship”.

Therefore, we put under the magnifying glass any new person appears and dissect it :))

“Why did I attract this person?” “Why could it be the one?” “Why not?” And so on. The problem arises when someone attracts us very much, but we know from the beginning that it is not “what we need”. And about all these people, Luca always says, “It’s your kind of suffering!” (By the way she is Theta Healer Therapist, you can find her here if you want to have a private session)

What exactly does this mean? It is clear that not all of us have the good fortune to attract the “right person” when we want to. In my book “The Secrets of Lasting Relationships – What attracts us & What makes us stay together?” I developed the reasons why we “attract” the right person for us. But what makes us attract “our kind of suffering”?

Unresolved issues obviously.

The universe will always test through the people we attract the level we are at and where we still have to work.


  • for us it is normal to feel attracted to drama, we like it to be exciting, problematic, we like uncertainty, it is more exciting because “too much good and zen would bore us”. Sure, it sounds stupid at first glance, but if you analyze yourself honestly and follow your pattern, do you find that you always attract the same drama? Why? Is it somehow “your kind of suffering?”
  • we were taught that we must work for love, maybe this is how we were introduced to love by our parents and if we had to make an effort or prove our “worthiness” to be loved, now we will make tumbles and turn into clowns to impress our partner. The harder it is for us, the more attractive it will be for us and we will try to force things that are obvious not meant for us. We will neglect signs, close our eyes to many situations and look for excuses not to acknowledge the reality unless it hurts too much. So how did you learn love when you were little? What did you have to do to receive love?
  • we consider that we do not deserve a beautiful relationship, or that it does not exist. Maybe our example in the family was not very happy, maybe the examples around us are mostly negative and we consider healthy relationships a myth, exceptions.
  • we are not aware of our value and we are content with little, we do not understand why we deserve a beautiful relationship, what do we have to offer?
  • maybe we are afraid of intimacy, of a real connection, of really opening our soul in front of another person and we will attract “our kind of suffering”, cold, indifferent people, people who keep us in uncertainty, waiting, to save us from really opening up and keeping ourselves “safe”, all while we are not really happy.

Obviously, “our kind of suffering” can manifest in all areas of our lives, not just in love, we just have to see which area is not how we want it, in which bubble we turn and what measures we can take.

No matter what we try to provoke by attracting “our kind of suffering” we can always make the decision to “change the beginning”, to build things having a healthy foundation.

With love,


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